My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devestated with no glee
(Again, credits to my really funny friend)
you are like papa
friends dont lie
Men and women are not equal. Speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable. (Sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell? We're not sexist men, you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, man were created before woman. Search it up in the Bible or online.
Kid: Mom! You lied to me! Mom: when? Kid: you told me that my little brother was an Angel! Mom: Sooo? Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony? Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
I was reading a book one day, when I suddenly hear a sound. It was the grim reaper. I ignore it and continue reading my book. Suddenly I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies. I used to like fireworks. But I'm dead now. Fireworks like a charm, if you don't mind something a little ghostly. What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.
Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?
Jimmy Jimmy, Yes Papa, Give away my Money, No Papa, Telling Lies, OK Ima Check my Bank Account
Why did a orphan say I'm wanted? because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.
dad: Johnny Johnny? Johnny: Yes papa dad:Getting women? Johnny:yes papa dad: Telling lies? Johnny:no papa dad:Well your 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN
I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people
But quite Anne frankly I'd be lying
Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you they don't laugh.
You know they lying when they say, my moms, picking me up.
Dad: johnny! johnny! Little Johnny: Yes Papa? Dad: Did you hit your brother? Little Johnny: no papa! Dad: Telling Lies? Little Johnny: No Papa Dad: Let Me See Your Fist Little Johnny: Ha Ha Ha Dad: What Is So Funny? Little Johnny: You Are Dad because I DON'T HAVE A BROTHER Dad: >:( Little Johnny: WHAT ITS TRUE Dad: you do have a point there johnny Little Johnny: Love You Dad Dad: Love you too son
Two nuns walk into a liquor store and one asked the clerk for the biggest bottle of Irish whisky he had. The clerk replied "Heck no sister, you nuns and aren't supposed to drink that stuff!" The nun said, "Well my son it is not for us you see, it is for Mother Teresa," then the nun whispers, "She has the constipation." The clerk said "Oh, in that case, it's on the house. Here's the biggest jug we have." The nuns thank him, bless him, and leave. A few hours later, as the clerk is leaving, he sees the same two sisters in the parking lot, rolling around and drinking the Irish whiskey. Appalled he goes over to them and says, "You ladies lied to me! You told me it was for Mother Teresa for her constipation!" One of the nuns takes another swig, looks up at him and says "You wanna know something buddy? She sure will shit when she sees us!
Omg u will give me discord nitro and robux?? sike i lied
Me: Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!
Depression: Lie in bed
D: Johnny Johnny J: Yes papa? D: Eating sugar J: No papa! D: Telling Lies J: No Papa D: Open your mouth, Now full of cock. :)
-Dark humor
Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.
Who need April 1st if your whole life is already a lie ༼⍨༽
The woman body is shaped like a penis. If see a naked female body bent over, her butt looks like testicles while her head can be seen as the head of a penis. This is the same if she lies down right side up with her knees up and legs spread. If she lays upside down with her knees up and legs spread, her boobs are like testicles and her pelvic area is like the head of a penis. If you look at the shape of a vagina, it’s shaped like a penis with the lips looking like testicles and the clit look like the schlong.
