Leaf jokes
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?
Russell
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.
One day, a leaf asks Mom, "Mom, why am I named Leaf?"
Mom says, "Because when you were a baby, a leaf fell on your head."
The next day, Feather asks Mom, "Mommy, why am I named Feather?"
Mom says, "When you were a baby, a feather fell on your head."
The next day, Brick asks Mom, "Rhsisvrkanx!"
Mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"
Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?
A: Fall.
If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
What's the similarity between an emotional and a leaf?
The emo is still hanging.
Why did the koala go to bed?
Because it was leafing.
Why do leaves change color in the fall?
Because they want to leaf their old color.
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
A leaf and an emo fell off a cliff, who landed first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo.
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!
Which one will fall from the tree first, the leaves or the emo?
The emo doesn't fall.
What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?
The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.
If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?
The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.
What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone!
Why does a leaf fall faster than an Emo?
The Emo hangs himself.
What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?
A leaf.