Leaf jokes
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears! :3
What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.
Why did the koala go to bed?
Because it was leafing.
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
What did the tree say when spring finally arrived?
"What a re-leaf."
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!
What do you call a flat cabbage?
A leaf pile.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?
Russell
Why do leaves change color in the fall?
Because they want to leaf their old color.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
What did the tree say to his sister? Wood you please leaf me alone, you son of a birch?
Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.
*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****
What is the best way to make a leaf?
Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.
What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.
What fell first, the emo kid or the leaf? The leaf, 'cause the emo kid just hung.
Official flag of Great Britain? The Union Jack.
Official flag of Australia? The Southern Cross.
Official flag of Canada? The Maple Leaf.
Official flag of Japan? The Sun.
Official flag of Orange County, California? The Nazi Symbol.
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
Which one will fall from the tree first, the leaves or the emo?
The emo doesn't fall.