Newest Lady Jokes - Page 6 - Worst Jokes Ever

One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)

A girl named Kariah was at a night club, she was twerking and shaking but she was just there for fun with her friends will untill some guy name Jaden came up to her and started flirting with her. Jaden: WOW Girl! Kariah: What? Jaden: Its just that a sexy girl like you should be haveing sex not begging for sex! Kariah: Okay listen pimp I don't know who you are but I don't want you around me one bit! Jaden grabbed her hips with such FORCE! Jaden: Come on lets go somewhere...priviet! and have a good time a fun time! Kariah slaped him and left the night club telling her friends she was gone. Leaving a tip for the drinks she bought. Daina: Hey whats wrong? Mary: Yeah! Greg: Sweetie...tell us. Ariana: Come on...did some one try to touch you in a weird way?! Kariah wanted to tell them but couldn't it was to personal. Kariah: Uh I have to go...its way passed my curfew! Love you! Kariah sighed, and waited for a cab down by Heyo street. Then a cab man started dirty talking her...DIRTY! Cab man: Hey, sexy lady! where are you going?...need a...wow...whoohoo...dang...ride? Kariah rolled her eyes then stuck her tongue out at the cab man. This fucking cab men said this. Cab man: Ooooo...use that for the sex! Kariah: I don't think so! Cab man: ha uh ha... I see the way your looking at me I know you like me! Kariah walks away from him and finds another cab but the cab man did not take her mean talk and weird silents for an answer. instead the cab man got out of is "Cab" and harrowed around her. Cab man: HEY WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING!?Kariah: TO MY KIDS AND MY HUSBAN! SO GET LOST BITCH!!!! You see Kariah was married, she just came to be with her friends at a night club. Cab man gets close to her so she ran...she ran as fast as she could till she triped on her high heels, once the cab man got close to her he picked her up...I think you know what he did okay I'll tell you. Cab man picked her up and took her back to the cab a.k.a taxi of course she was not gonna give up without a fight...will she gave up! Cab man: I know ya like me! I just know it! You dressed up in a hoochie and sluty dress for nothing will wrong you LIKE ME maybe love if we get lucky! He drove her to his house and then took off is cloths "underware included" got on top of her and "Rape was born again". Kariah did not remember a thing that night only that she was forced agianst her will too will have "S.E.X"

James Bond gives all the ladies he's met, the perfect birthday gift. Chlamydia.

What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand??? "Hello Ladies""

A man comes in to the pharmacy to get a flu shot. The pharmacy nurse prepares one of the shots. The man gets the shot and the nurse cleans the shot area. The next day the man comes back and gets another shot. Before he paid the nurse said, “Don’t you realize if you get another shot you may die from overdose?” The man said, “Don’t you realize if you don’t shut up I’ll give you a shot of lead?” The nurse got scared and quit her job. The nurse was relaxing looking for a vacation to book when all of a sudden she hears an odd noise. It sound like someone cocking a gun. The man was hiding behind the nurses bushes. “In return for you giving me shots here are yours.” Said the man as he was chuckling like a psycho. The man shot the nurse in the leg so she couldn’t escape, then he shot her left hand which is the ladies dominant hand so she couldn’t call the cops. For the finishing move the man curb stomped the fucking life out of her until her head was as flat as paper. 9 years later...... All along this man, this psycho escaped a mental hospital. He wen’t on mass genocide killing 20’000 people in just 3 years. This man is more than human. More than alien. More than god himself...,. It was satan reborn.

one day, a chicken went to the nail store. He asked the "owner" where the shampoo was. "BRO IM NOT THE FRIKKIN MANAGER" the guy said. So the duck walked away. The next day he went back to the store and asked a pregnant lady why she was so fat. The lady punched him and ran away. The duck cried. Then he went to the lady's husband and said that he must be tired of being married since she punches people every day. The man punched him. The duck assumed they were the punching couple. The duck walked, and then fell in a ditch and stayed there to die. The pregnant lady and her husband were very pleased >:) muhahahahahahaha

Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

Hey mom I'm back from the circus parade, it was amazing! first came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, And then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion, oh and what came after her? Asked the mother, Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee said the boy.

What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market? “Good evening ladies."

What do you call a lady with a pyramid on her head ?

mummy

What did the bus driver say to the lady with one leg? Hop on.

My Mother: Wanna hear the song Chloe your the one I want on pandora? Meh: No I am tired of that song and I am annoyed by it. Mom: don't talk back to meh like that young lady. Me/ someone else? - -gets silent in da room- Brother: yea this song is very annoying but maybe better than the Chelsea song. Joke is here now what do you do if you hear the name Chloe?

A American goes on a British bus after being in war he wants to sit down so he goes to the back of the bus to sit down but there is a old woman on the seat with her dog in the next the man says will you move your dog the lady says oh you Americans always so demanding and she says to sit some where else he goes through and finds no seats so now he at the back again this time he throws the dog out the window and sits down the man in front says you Americans always do things wrong first yoy drive on the wrong side of the road then hold you knife and fork wrong and you threw the wrong bitch out the window

Why did the lady go to the dealership... because she was going to get hereford.

A lady walks in to a dentists office, sits on the counter and spreads her legs. The dentist says i think you have the wrong idea with that the lady replies; last week you gave my husband his false teeth now you can get them out

Do you know why jesus is so popular with the ladies?? Haven't you ever seen pictures of the guy? He was hung like this.. 🤚--------🤪----------✋

There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma'm and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?

In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough. They continued eating for a while. This is really good! the little girl exclaimed. What's this meat! The old lady replied with: well there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping.