Who is the king of Reddit? Sam Ryan
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king? Our souls will rain forever.
KING
In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind Manto become a king. I mean, I don't see why not.
What’s the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy?
BK doesn’t sell real meat.
If Martin Luther King was white, what would they call him?
Alive
What does a queen 👸 want on her cookie 🍪?
Royal Icing.
So you know The Lion King Do you remember Simba Well his dad is really strong and he walks really fast but Simba walks really slow So I told him to Mufasa
Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite.
Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants.
Man: Your hair colour is fabulous. Woman: I hate your hair colour, though.
Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite!
Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you dead.
R.I.P
Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: F*** you, pedophile!
Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant.
Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch! Woman: How dare you!
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying "I AM KING OF THE WORLD!"
Where did the king hide his armies? In his sleevies.
Worst joke ever.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies
😥This is offensive sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed "You gonna start the dishwasher or what"?
The KING took a shit on the craps table at the casino
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I Know What Your Thinking Pervert, Actually The Jokes About a Jester in Drag. OK I'm Joking, The Queen Cheated on the KIng with the Jester.
What was king tut's favorite coffee?
- De-coffin-ated
when is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Why is Martin Luther King so bad at laundry?
He won't separate the whites from the colors....
What did kings say when they were made king?
Allah ail (All hail) [insert name here]!
Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. The divorce lawyer says to Mickey: "Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because she is crazy" to which Mickey responds: "I'm not divorcing her because she's crazy, i'm divorcing her because she's f**king Goofy.
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher:No you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door
Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No!The giraffe because He's in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student:The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher:She drowned?!
Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
