Newest Kill Jokes - Page 22 - Worst Jokes Ever

There’s so many protests. Every time I see my body my choice, I can’t tell if we’re protesting the masks or trying to kill babies

Uranus is larger than Neptune but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke also Neptune don't kill me)

i will all ways remember my granpas last words after robing a bank O SHIT THE PIGS ARE CACHING UP but the cops did not kill him he drove full speed of a cliff

I put a Dalmatian in a washing machine and killed him

my grandpa killed 100 german soldiers he was the worst german piolet ever

if you kill a killer the same amount of killers in the room stays the same.

My grandpa was amazing. He killed hitler

My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters. I asked him what his book was about and he said "Oh, It's autobiography."

. why cant depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.. . why cant orphans play baseball, Because they cant find home! . a serial killer was at my house all killed all my family but me why, i was in the living room.. . what do sloths and depressed have in common, they both hang off trees.. . what is a group of depressed kids called, the suicide squad

Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?

Because her neck was killing her.

Why you can't kill a depressed person?

Because they are already dead inside.

Clarie: I don't even care if it was a joke he made on me, you and Karlen, and if you think I'm getting over it, then you must have an otameal for a brain.

Jordan: Clarie ... you are so sensitive when she tells a little joke about you, me and Karlen.

Clarie: It was painful!

Jordan: Who cares? I laughed. Ben is not a bad person, okay, calm down.

Clarie: Ben is a bad person. We are making friends with a bully/thug, but you say that he is not a "bad person", my mom is going to kill me if she finds out that I am hanging out with those kinds of people!

Jordan: Then don't tell her! Listen, I need you, give Ben a chance! Please?

Clarie: Shush Karlen is coming!

Karlen: Hey guys, that ben guy for sure as a way of saying words, I wish I could hurt him!!

People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing but when i the it people just looked horrified.

who killed hitler goes to heaven. *looks up* oh,never mind.

What’s the difference between issac Newton and the baby I just killed?

Issac Newton died a virgin!😎

Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait... nevermind...

The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it. The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.

The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:

"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!" (Found on the web if you don't like it don't leave a hate comment)

One time Girl was telling her boyfriend if she could have sex with him for just a little bit and he said sure so she just started having sex. she asked him if we could have a baby , but he said sure and started going hard.she told him she was joking but he wouldn't get off . So she did the 69 . and months later she died. and he said he thinks he killed her with sex.