Keller jokes
I wrote a book called "Endless Love."
It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck a plunger down the toilet.
Helen Keller is so Helen Keller-y that nobody will be as good as Helen Keller.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
Did you know that Helen Keller has a swing in her backyard?
Neither did she.
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...
What's Helen Keller's favorite color?
Corduroy.
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.
What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?
Neither of them can see or hear their parents.
Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.
Why did Helen Keller fail school? She was bad at language.
How did Helen Keller know she went to hell?
She didn't.
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.
Did you hear about Hellen Keller falling down the well?
She screamed her little fingers off.
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.