War isn't about who's right. It's about who's left.
rape isn't funny unless she's laughing too
Steven Hawking said god isn’t real and the Priest put a Boot on his tire 😂😂😂
Son - Dad I've been expelled from school for having sex with a girl in my class Dad - Son that's the 2nd school this year! Maybe teaching isn't for you!
I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket. I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."
I need to get new shoes one of these isn’t right
This isn't a joke, just an American back to school list. 1.Pencils 2.Binders 3.Paper 4.Pencil sharpener What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks "How long am I going to live?" The doctor says "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says"10" The man asks "Ten what?" Then the doctor keeps going"6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1"
A Man and a Cow are stuck on train tracks and There is a Train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does He save, The man or the cow? Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.
You're a good soldier Choosing your battles Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and back in the saddle You're on the front line Everyone's watching You know it's serious we're getting closer, this isn't over The pressure is on You feel it But you've got it all Believe it When you fall get up oh oh And if you fall get up oh oh Tsamina mina zangalewa 'Cause this is Africa Tsamina mina eh eh Waka waka eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa This time for Africa Listen to your God This is our motto Your time to shine don't wait in line y vamos por todo People are raising Their expectations Go on and feed them this is your moment no hesitations Today's your day I feel it You paved the way Believe it If you get down get up oh oh When you get down get up eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa This time for Africa Tsamina mina eh eh Waka waka eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa Anawa aa Tsamina mina eh eh Waka waka eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa This time for Africa Ame la mejole biggi biggi mubbo wa A to Z Asi tsu zala makyuni biggi biggi mubbo from East to West Asi waga waga ma eh eh waga waga ma eh eh Tendency suna tsibuye 'cause this is Africa (Africa, Africa Africa) Tsamina mina, Anawa a a Tsamina mina Tsamina mina, Anawa a a Tsamina mina, eh eh Waka waka, eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa Anawa a a Tsamina mina, eh eh Waka waka, eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa This time for Africa Django eh eh Django eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa Anawa a a Django eh eh Django eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa Anawa a a This time for Africa This time for Africa We're all Africa We're all Africa
This isn't a joke my dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago he still hasn't returned should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year
Why isn't a koala a bear? It doesn't have the koalafications
want to hear a joke? i swear it isn't about my life again-
my mom and dad made a joke together and called it 'yeetsu' (me)
Digging stuff up is too hard
Guess Necrophilia isn’t for everybody
if at first you don't succeed Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you
What's the difference between a feminist and a pig?
There isn't one they are both the same thing.
Trump says to Obama “you know it’s the White House not the black house right?” And Obama says “yeah but it isn’t the orange house either.
Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I've ever made.
Then I realize "My daughter isn't THAT bad..."
katie Price's answer for everything is darkness. She isn't a dull person, but playing eye spy with my little eye with Harvey is just way too easy.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
