he scratched his face up detective that did It did I do that
Me: Now knowing why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured is out.
I wasn't staring at you I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon
One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said...... It’s a wood hulem
What’s pink rusty and covered in cobwebs
Madeline McCann bike
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. my dad was a great pilot!
I comforted my friend about his wife’s death: until I found out who did it.
murder murder suicide by police
3 citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI, their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot them, he walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario, he put the gun up but couldn't pull the trigger so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario, he walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes , I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane
There is a man in the hospital the power went out and the man was stabbed to death, there are three witnesses, the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who was at the vending machine, who killed the man? The mom did because you can’t use a vending machine when the powers out!
Joke:What do you call a gay alligator detective? Answer:An Investigator
Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife in his car and know one could see him. He threw the body out the car and thew the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife is dead and to come to the sene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops amediently arrested him. Why? ANSWER: The cops never said qhere the sene of the crime is.
I woke up one night to a strange noise and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents room. I looked inside and counted, ok one two three finger men and my mom so nothing out of the ordinary so then I checked my sisters room. And I counted 4 other women in the room but then I realized that he sound was coming from right in front of me it was my dad giving me a bj the whole time.
When I hired a asian detective to see if my wife was cheating on me, I got this letter:
Mr. Wong- I see he so I climb up tree, he knock on door and she let in he, she talks to he, he talks to she, he undress she, she undress he, she play with he, he play with she, I play with me, I fall out tree, I no see..... No fee.
You know it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise it's just a missing person.
There is a Mexican sitting on a train. The guy sitting next to him says I have a big dick. The Mexican decides to get a lawnmower and some clippers. When he got off the train the police found a dead body with no dick and pube hairs.
what do you call a pig that knows karate...
Pork-chop!
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"
Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that's my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds "those are my headlights." He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down "daddy whats that?" The dad replies "that's my car." He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says "you can lay with me." He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see's them going at it he then yells "mommy turn on you're headlights daddy's parking his car in you're garage!" *THUD*
