Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
Insult Jokes
"Yo mama's so fat that when she farts, Al Gore accuses her of global warming."
Yo momma is so fat, when she tried to hang herself, the noose broke.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.
Yo mama so ugly even bullets refuse to kill her.
Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo mama's so ugly, she could make an onion cry.
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for burgers and fries.
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."
I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.
I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.
Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.
You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Your mom is fat and so are you.
My enemy told me I’m adopted, so I told him at least I got adopted.
I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought the Grinch was ugly until I saw you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I took a poo, and it smelt like you.
1, 2 look at your shoes.
3, 4 they look better than yours.
5, 6 you have no friends.
7, 8 you look like a ape.
9, 10 don't you like men?
11, 12 hell naw I like females.
1, 2 you built like a dork.
3, 4 you got no girl, 4, 5 you're shorter than a remote.
If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.
Yo mama is so ugly that Kanye West went East to get away from her.
