Insult

Insult Jokes

Wife

Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.

Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!

Wife: Kid?

Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?

Yo mama

"Yo mama's so fat that when she farts, Al Gore accuses her of global warming."

Mama

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.

Mama

Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo mama

Yo mama's so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for burgers and fries.

Egg

What's the difference between you and an egg?

An egg gets laid.

Adoption

When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."

Taste

I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.

You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.

Mom

Roses are red, violets are blue.

Your mom is fat and so are you.

Adoption

I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...

Grinch

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought the Grinch was ugly until I saw you.

Poo

Roses are red, violets are blue, I took a poo, and it smelt like you.

Friend

1, 2 look at your shoes.

3, 4 they look better than yours.

5, 6 you have no friends.

7, 8 you look like a ape.

9, 10 don't you like men?

11, 12 hell naw I like females.

Girl

1, 2 you built like a dork.

3, 4 you got no girl, 4, 5 you're shorter than a remote.

Mom

If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.

Mama

Yo mama is so ugly that Kanye West went East to get away from her.