Insult jokes
My girlfriend called me a pedophile, I said that's a big word for a seven year old.
"Deez nutz" are a hairline.
Wanna hear a joke?
No, I'm already looking at one.
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
Bully: I wasn't talking to you.
Me: Then why are you listening?
Roses are red, violets are blue, you are so ugly that no one likes you.
Your hairline is so far back it was friends with the dinosaurs!
Roses are red, violets are blue, You'll suck my dick 'cause I'm stronger than you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll f*ck your mom, and you'll be next.
You're so clapped that you make Susan Boyle attractive.
You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."
You're so bald, I can see what's on your mind.
You want an insult? Right, look at the mirror.
Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?
You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor threw you out the window, and the window threw you back.
Even the World Trade Center underwent a better upgrade than your ugly ass.
Yo mama's so ugly, her birth certificate is an apology letter.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was little, she had to trick-or-treat by phone.
Yo momma is so old, her birthday's expired.
If I missed something, I'll give it to you. If you taked it, you are a mistake.