What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents? My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that son.
What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death? His hide and seek skills
i have no father. like if you relate
I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said "I inherited a watering hole." Bewildered I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?" "I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen. And I could just have his motorcycle.
Why cant orphans play monopoly
Because they never get a full house
Why are orphans always so successful because when their told go big or go home they only have one option.
Why can't orphans be gay.
They have no one to call daddy
What happened when the man died: yes
What person can't work at a family business? An orphan.
I found out what DNA stands for. It's the National Dyslexic's Association.
I will always remember my grandpa's last words. SHIT, THE LADDER IS FALLING!
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you were adopted.
What do you call an orphan's family tree? A stump.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson? Cause it's a family company.
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
Our family is known for unusually sloppy diarrhea. It runs in our jeans.
