Inheritance jokes
Your gene pool is so shallow, you could break your neck diving in.
What is my favorite thing about my grandpa?
His life insurance.
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?
"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."
Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?
Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!
What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death?
His hide-and-seek skills.
I have no father. Like if you relate.
I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Q.) What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A.) A family stump.
Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”
Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”
He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
I'm related to diarrhea; it runs in my jeans.
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they never get a full house.
Why are orphans always so successful? Because when they're told "go big or go home," they only have one option.
Why can’t orphans tell jokes?
Because their parents can’t *bear* the *jeans* because they don’t have any.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call daddy.
What happened when the man died? Yes.
What person can't work at a family business? An orphan.