“Wills”
Are they a dead giveaway!
I will always remember my grandpa's last words. "Shit, the ladder is falling!"
One man's trash is another man's treasure.
Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you were adopted.
What do you call an orphan's family tree? A stump.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson? Cause it's a family company.
A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a "no". His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, "Why do you keep asking me to croak?" The granddaughter replies, "Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland."
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
Our family is known for unusually sloppy diarrhea.
It runs in our jeans.
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
How did the Java programmer's son get rich?
Because of inheritance.
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.
What do you call a person that inherits a lot of money?
A millionheir.
