What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
In Common Jokes
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What do orphans and garbage have in common?
They’re both in the street, and no one wants to pick them up.
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?
We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.
