Here are a few:
While I was out shopping i tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me, for fun I said "Sorry! It's been awhile since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Dads are like boomerangs. . . I hope!
Son: Dad why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.
You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.
What is one thing humans do before they eat? They beat there meat to make nuggets
Humans and sharks have something in common, the great ones are always white
Orphans are human too! They just don't know who their parents are and where! I know 4 sisters named Mariah, Kariah, Lariah and Iariah and they said they are orphans too! And they are sad and they don't like your jokes!
Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is% 9000,000 NO !!!!!!!!!!
What's the Fastest 20000 Meter Dash a Human Can Run?
If you unironically think Someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail you are honestly such a Fucking embaresment to humanity
A man comes in to the pharmacy to get a flu shot. The pharmacy nurse prepares one of the shots. The man gets the shot and the nurse cleans the shot area. The next day the man comes back and gets another shot. Before he paid the nurse said, “Don’t you realize if you get another shot you may die from overdose?” The man said, “Don’t you realize if you don’t shut up I’ll give you a shot of lead?” The nurse got scared and quit her job. The nurse was relaxing looking for a vacation to book when all of a sudden she hears an odd noise. It sound like someone cocking a gun. The man was hiding behind the nurses bushes. “In return for you giving me shots here are yours.” Said the man as he was chuckling like a psycho. The man shot the nurse in the leg so she couldn’t escape, then he shot her left hand which is the ladies dominant hand so she couldn’t call the cops. For the finishing move the man curb stomped the fucking life out of her until her head was as flat as paper. 9 years later...... All along this man, this psycho escaped a mental hospital. He wen’t on mass genocide killing 20’000 people in just 3 years. This man is more than human. More than alien. More than god himself...,. It was satan reborn.
What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?
WOULD YOU STOP BUGGING ME!
knock knock whos there? banana banana who orange orange who orange you glad i didnt say banana again
How do you create the worlds quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gaschamber.
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school. At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters
'PNEIS'
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.
What did the chicken say when he saw ahuman running around uncontrollably? "its running around like a human with its head cut off"
What did a cannibal have as his last meal?
Five guys.
What do you call a man who likes rape jokes? A fucking disgusting, scumbag with no intellignece what so ever. If u actually joke about this you are the reason humanity has faded.
First Date: HE:"i work with animals every day!" SHE:"oh how sweet! what is it that you do?" HE:"I’m a butcher" SHE:“perfect i work with humans i just kill them by cutting them up!” HE:"so its you in the news paper?"SHE:"yes it was,wanna be next?" HE:"no!"
What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful
So your human huh well Im a skeleton so not much gets under my skin
why doesnt voldemort have a human nose? because his snake bit it of
God- make a grumpy old man president Angel-why g-cause I said so-name him trump a-okay G-make him not pay taxes a-okay... Fast forwrd to 2020 G- you know that grumpy old man a-yea... G-make him create a deadly virus named after a beer A- Krona G- exactly A- why do you hate humans so much G- because I can.
