Home Alone Jokes

One time I was at home alone with my dawgy, and I was eating peanut butter. I thought since it's oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part. My dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter off my private part, and my private part got big and hard. Then, white stuff came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining.

And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted, "What are you doing?" And I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, "Well, let me have a taste." And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.

What’s the difference between a child who is home alone and an orphan?

They’re both alone, but only one is home.

Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?

The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.

My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.

Why do people love dating orphans?

Because they're always home alone.

What is an orphan's favorite movie?

Home Alone.

Why do orphans stay home alone?

Because they don't have parents.

What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.

What thing can an orphan do best?

Stay at home alone.

Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.

Why do orphans like the movie Home Alone?

Because they're home alone themselves!

What is an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.

Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”

Why do orphans love Home Alone?

They like to see a familiar picture.

My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)

Me: I know, you always are...

What's an orphan's favorite movie?

"Home Alone."

What do you call an orphan home alone?

A family reunion.

A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."

The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"

What do you call an orphan? Homeless.

What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.

Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.

What’s an orphan's favorite movie?

Home Alone.