Higher jokes
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.
Can bees fly higher than Mt. Everest? No? Actually, they can. Mt. Everest can't fly.
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.
“Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”
“Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.
What type of horse can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?
'Cause he wanted higher grades.
My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he wanted to drop higher bars!
What’s the difference between Swifties and rap fans?
One rap fan has a higher IQ than every Swiftie combined.
Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.
How many people can jump higher than a mountain? None. Mountains can't jump.
What jumps higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
Deez nuts, can we get much higher?
Boioioioing boioioioing, my name Jeff.
Arabic Nokia ringtone, bingchungus, wholesome 100, everyone liked that, Keanu Reeves chungus, Ugandan Knuckles, YouTube poop XDDDDDDDDDDDD.
I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”
He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”