HI jokes

Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.

Oh wait, I forgot.

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

Why did the polack lock himself out of his car?

Because his keys were inside of the ignition.

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

Why did the kid cry?

His dad didn't get the milk.

It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!

Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?

'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!

Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

A: He forgot to wrap his whopper.

Hi stone, I'm watching.

A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!"

The doctor replies, "Sorry, I don’t follow you..."

My grandad broke his legs.

To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.

Where does a snowman keep his money?

In a snowbank.

Why does a woodpecker have a beak?

So as to not smash his head against the tree.

We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.

Did you see that Chinese man with no legs?

No, I'm blind.

Stop ruining my jokes.

Isn't that the Chinese man with no legs' fault?

It's not like He Go Ann Hi Weh.

Doctor asks his patient, "What is your zodiac sign?"

Patient replies, "Cancer." Doctor says, "What a coincidence!"

How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

Technoblade should have drank milk. Would have gotten rid of all his status effects!