HI jokes

My grandad broke his legs.

To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.

Why does an orphan hate the ending of Finding Nemo?

Nemo goes back to his father.

What does a Chinese guy say to his lover? “You’re the ying to my yang!”

I was walking down the hallway at my job when I saw a kid crying.

I asked him where his parents were, and he kept crying.

Man, I love working at the orphanage.

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff?

Neither did I until I found his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?

She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.

An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."

His name is Donald, but he looks like Goofy.

What record did Obama prove during his presidency?

No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.

What did the cow say to the leather chair?

“Hi Mom!”

Why is Hitler better than Biden?

Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.

Technoblade should have drank milk. Would have gotten rid of all his status effects!

How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.

We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.

How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?

He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.

Q: Why did the orphan cross the road?

A: To get to the other side to find his parents.

There was no other side of the road.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.

Why does Darth Vader always choke people?

Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.

Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.

His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”

Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”

Little Johnny goes to his mum and asks, "Mummy, what's rape?"

Little Johnny's mum answers, "The way you got here."