Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side and meet his friend.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
Because he wasn’t wearing his seat belt.
I was wearing a mask and told the teacher I ate her vagina. She said what? I pulled my mask down and said, "No, I said I like your hyenas." Then a kid sees me do it, but he only heard the first part, so he goes up to the teach and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight." She said, "Pull your mask down," and he pulls his mask down and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight."
A pirate walks into a tavern with a pirate ship attached to his nutty wuttys. It's driving me nuts!
A troll proceeds to pull out a desert eagle and shoot the pirate in the face. He makes a poggers face and says, "Problem??"
When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."
My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL". He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!
Orphan: Throws a boomerang.
Boomerang: Comes back with his father.
Father: Goes to get milk.
Nemo turned emo and changed his movie name to "Finding Emo."
Last night little Johnny went to his room and saw people hanging out there, little balls.