HI jokes
Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
His Windows update wasn't available.
How did Steven Hawking die? His WiFi disconnected.
When they spilled coffee on his neck, he got hot under the collar.
Memes
Stephen Hawking is as broke as his legs.
How does water say hi?
It waves.
What did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said, "I'm gonna break your heart?"
He says, "Go ahead, you're not breaking my 206 healthy bones!"
The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.
What’s one thing smarter than Stephen Hawking? His computer.
Stephen Hawking died because he turned off his VPN.
Why did he die so soon? Oh, I know, he forgot to plug in his charger!
What’s Steven Hawking's fav[orite] food?
WiFi chips or his shoulder?
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.
So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.
Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.
Why did the hobo go back to the future?
To stop himself from wasting all his money on a rigged casino machine.
Hi, how are you today?
What did Love name his daughter?
Sweetheart. ♥
Dad: What did your older brother say before he lost his virginity?
Son: Dad, please don't.
Dad: Exactly.
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the interview?
Because his FUTURE was too BRIGHT!