HI Jokes

This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."

Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.

Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.

"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.

The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.

"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"

"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.

The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.

"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.

What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?

What happens when Stephen Hawking wakes up from his sleep?

"Log in."

Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.

Hiiiiiiiii, I said, Man, want candy? Me, YESSSSSS! Me, gets kidnaped.

Hi Gwen, how is life!

A. Bad, lame, and suckish.

B. Good, awesome, and you are loved!

C. Perfect!

I'm guessing that your life is NOT B nor C! Man, you're such an asshole!

What was wrong with Stephen Hawking? His legs.

Why did Johnny drop his pencil?

To look up girls' skirts! 😬🤯😲😳😱🙀🙊

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 2: LIKE: When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door and the autistic kid opens it.

DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team, but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”

Vote for the better joke.

Hi, I am back! Tell me what's happening?

My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.

When the school shooter drops his gun, and the autistic kid picks it up thinking it’s his long lost nerf gun.

Why did the cliff feel offended?

Because George jumped OFF. ENDED his life.

(I'm sorry... No, I'm not!)

An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.

(Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")

Why was the orphan able to avoid getting into trouble at school?

Because they couldn’t call his parents!

What does a skeleton tile his roof with?

Shin-gles!

Why did the rapper go to school?

To improve his FLOW-CULUS.

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!

A skeleton had a job interview, but he looked messy.

I had to fix his collarbone.