Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.
What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?
Both stare off into space.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They put doorknobs on a wall and said, "Open the door."
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet, but she didn’t listen...
What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"
Have you ever seen Helen Keller's dog?
Neither has she.
How did Helen Keller get punished?
Her parents gave her a bomb and told her to eat it.
Have you seen the inside of Helen Keller's houses? She hasn't.
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a twin?
Yeah, Helen ate her in the womb.
Q: Where did Helen Keller go to school?
A: Anywhere she was homeschooled.
Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she. Did you see that one coming? Neither did she.
(She's blind and deaf)
How did Helen Keller know she went to hell?
She didn't.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.
Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
How do you shut Helen Keller up?
You give her mittens.
Who is Helen Keller?
