Heaven Jokes

Why did stephen Hawking make it to heaven? He couldn't make it up the stairs.

Why did the child die? To see god our father

The undertakers famous saying is "Rest In Peace" to all of his opponents but really they don't rest in peace the only peace they get is the from God

Why didn’t Steven hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway not a rampway

A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."

"Interesting."

"That's the story of how I got to the morgue." he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.

Why did Steven Hawkings go to hell? Because he couldn’t go up the stairs to heaven

When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked : " Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work ? "

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

why did the student at blacktown girls cross the road? to go to heaven HAHAHA

OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!

do you want to give your life to God and be in heaven

Suzy: How did johna fit in the whale? Teacher: Whales are very big but have small moths, so johna did not actually fit in the whale. Suzy: well the bible says he did Teacher: He did not Suzy: when I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven, maybe he went to hell Suzy: Than you can ask him.

Teacher- Tim where are your parents its been 15 minutes!? Tim (Orphan)- yeah um, they cant come. Teacher- why not? Tim- they're too busy working in heaven

What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?

Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.

If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince? The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.

Scratches on an icy road and kills or 50 people on the bus and when they get to heaven God feel so bad for them and grants them all one wish the first lady in the line was always worried about her looks so she wish to be beautiful and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to want to wish about so he also wish to be beautiful but this keep on going but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh when he got to God he said God says what’s what is your one wish my son I wish you can make them all ugly again

There are two kids sitting in a classroom Lily and john Lily sleeps in class everyday.The teacher asks lily who made heaven and earth john pokes her with a pencil she shouts JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY teacher says that's right the teacher says the next day she asks the same question john pokes her with a pencil she shouts JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY that's right the teacher says next day she asks lily what did Eve say to adam after their 100th john pokes her again IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME IMMA BREAK IT IN HALF she shouts.