Have jokes
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?
Well..... neither has he.
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
You’ll parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.
Q: What do women and KFC have in common?
A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.
What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.
Why do orphans get the small sized chip bags?
Because they don’t have a family to share it with. 😥
A man was taking a young child into the woods.
The young child said, "Mister, it's getting dark and I'm scared."
The man replied with, "How do you think I feel? I have to go back alone."
What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
Why can't orphans go to homecoming? Because they don't have a home to go to.
I have to call Bovfa. What's Bovfa? Bovfa deez nuts fit in your mouth.
Have you ever been to the ocean? Well, the smokers out there probably only seaweed!
A dog meets a cat. The cat is black and the dog is white. They have sex on site, no cap.
My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.
I have more STDs than Hicks has friends at the moment. I only have one.
How do you sex?
With penis!
Jajajajja funny joke epic laugh. I have been detained, please help!