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Hanger

Hanger jokes

What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?

Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?

They’re both hanging in the closet.

I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time, I'd give your mom a coat hanger.

What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.

What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?

You fix both with a coat hanger.

Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?

You don't usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days.

But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: "Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!"

I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!

What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?

Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.

Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?

The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.