Grades jokes

Teacher

I was excited my teacher asked me for sex in exchange for a good grade, but then I realized I was homeschooled.

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  • Tattoo

    Friend: Did your tattoos hurt?

    Me: Nah, not really.

    Friend: What did they feel like?

    Me: 7th grade.

    Friend: 😶😶😨😰😰😰😨

    Moment

    My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my H.I.V. test without studying.

    Memes

    Heart Monitor

    When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.

    Period

    Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay?

    Because the teacher said she missed all her periods.

    Homework

    Teacher: Where's your homework?

    Student: At home...

    Teacher: What's it doing there?

    Student: Having a better time than me.

    School Shooter

    Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."

    Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."

    Classroom: *visible panic*

    Shower

    Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"

    Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"

    The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"

    Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."

    The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."

    Age

    "I met a girl and she's 28."

    "Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."

    - AJR

    Test

    Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.

    Friend: What were the tests about?

    Me: Japan.

    School

    All school meeting introductions:

    Grade School: “Welcome Girls and Boys!”

    Middle School: “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”

    High School: “Fingerers and fingerees.”

    Teacher

    The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”

    No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”

    Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”

    Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”

    The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”

    Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”

    Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.

    “As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”

    Grade

    I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.

    Blonde

    A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?

    The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.

    Orphan

    What did the orphan's parent say when he got bad grades?

    Nothing, he doesn't have any.