God jokes

God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."

My girlfriend treats me like God. -- She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"

God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."

Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?

Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.

What's the difference between a surgeon and God?

God knows he's not a surgeon.