Most of his Taliban friends have more wives than teeth.
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot and then they bumbed him know he called them the talkwakers
My friend told me to “hang on” when I told him I wanted to kill myself. Buddy I’ll be hanging for sure, just you wait
My boyfriend and i were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet. All our friends were shocked when i went into the boys bathroom with him.
a friend sits across me at class so i assked if she wants to hang out somtimes she said yes so i called her over to my house and thats the day i found out she was a guy. the morul of the story dont try to fuck your frindes.
I beat up my twin friends with a plane
I can’t remember if I already said this or not I might of already said this also this is a true story. So I’m walking into a store in Amish country and there’s this guy with a bear trap then my moms friend says this guys gonna catch some bears then the Amish guy stop looks around and whispers “it’s for democrats”
So here’s this funny story and it’s true. So my mom has this friend when this guy was a kid he was on the school bus and this Mexican kid checked him into the isle so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox and he started bleeding then they both get banned from the bus for a few days so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”
my friend playing truth or dare me:dare my friends:i dare u to go home
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his Grandmothers nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still waring them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
I had to go to my friends house... I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... IS MY FRIEND OK???
why does aaron have no friends? Because his spine is weird and he is fat
Guys can we change pride month to another month please my birthday is in june and im mot gay and my friends keep making fun of me i think we should change it to march because my brothers birthday is in march and thatd be funny
Little Johnny got told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say : I know the truth they give you money so little Johnny says to his mum I know the truth so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone so when little Johnny’s dad gets home little Johnny says I know the truth his dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone so little Johnny try’s it on the post man and says I know the truth and the post man says come here son
yo mama so dumb when I told her my blind friend couldn’t see, she said “open yo eyes”
yo mama so dumb when I told her my friend was mute she said “cant you unmute her?”
Me-"Whats the difference between an apple and an emo" Friend-"i dont know" Me- an apple actually falls from the tree
I bought a book for my blind friend :)
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames
My freind said he wanted to die and I told him not to jump but when he screamed hi im jhonny Knoxville and welcome to jackass I knew it was over
