Freshness jokes
A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some fresh beets!
Why did the rapper visit the farm?
To drop some FRESH BEETS!
What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?
I don't eat the fruit.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
Why do special ed classes have fans?
To keep the vegetables nice and fresh.
Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?
Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund, so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash, so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good, so he started selling it to Taco Bell, then ate a cow. All the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then gave them some toe jam. They loved it, so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam. It was so good, then one of the aliens ate there dog, so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater, and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.
Tonight I'll be eating freshly grown pork cutlets with a fresh juicy amount of Poké Balls.
Do you get what I am trying to poke out?
Why is there air conditioning at a hospital?
To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Yum!
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get a fresh set of GRILLZ.
Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
Why did the rapper become a barber?
Because he loved to drop FRESH CUTS.
People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."
I know it's really, really, really, really bad.
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"
Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
What do rappers like cantaloupe?
Because they’re always dropping fresh MELON!
One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"
George Floyd is the fresh prince of no air.