Freezer

Freezer Jokes

Terri Schiavo

I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.

Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!

Difference

What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?

A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.

Melania Trump

Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?

Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!

Body

Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?

I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.

Melania Trump

Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In Freezer"?

Answer: Because it's where EVERYONE GOES to "Hang Their Meat!"

Chicken

When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.

Cannibal

"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"

"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."

"I meant the ice cream, bro..."

Jeffrey Dahmer

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."

Ice Cream

Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?

To make room in the freezer for his special meat.

Kid

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

Body

It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.

Body

A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”

Difference

What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.

Body

Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.

Her: Prove it.

Me: (opens freezer)

Parrot

One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.

"I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂

Woman

What is the similarity between women and freezers?

We like to put our meat in them.