Figure Jokes

You: Finds a time clock that can change time

Your friend the next day: Hey, can borrow yo' house

You: No I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME

Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again

Opposite day be like in doors

Figure : finally I can see

Eyes: Nnnnnoooo I'm blind. Figure I'm sorry i made fun if u all those other times pls don't make fu. Of me

Figure: ok eye promise eye won't.

Eyes: 😭

Your mum is so smart but she still can’t figure why she had you

is that a person over there Na its jesus

what do you call a stupid mannequin? a dummy

Ur forehead’s so big that I was tryna figure out if that was you or the moon.

My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once

On my 21st Birthday my mom told me I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child your going to to get something good and something you been looking forward to is what my mom said. Me my mom and my on;y friend celebrate my Birthday then we all went to sleep I woke up the next day I ask hey where my gift you said you got me. My mom said since your father left us you have have no father figure in your life. So this is your new step father the only thing it was my only friend.

So two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river. One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. Un Deux Trois Cat was nowhere to be seen. So One Two Three Cat figured that Un Deux Trois Cat sank.

Hi guys, I have a brain teaser for you! Leave it in the comment section if you figure it out. Here you go! If you kill yourself (suicide which is technically murder) will you go to Heaven or Hell? Because you murdered yourself, but what if you were a Christian? That was my brain teaser for you guys! make sure you leave what you came up with for the answer in the comment section below!! PEACE OUT!!!! :)

Stephan Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills He just couldn’t figure out who

Figure : who wants to play hide and seek.

Seek and hide: me

Figure:ok hide and I will hide and seek will be it.

Seek:why do I have to be it?

Figure: because ur name says so.

I couldn’t figure out why the football kept getting bigger...then it hit me

What is an orphans favorite toy. A mom a dad action figure

Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. you don't. You have a father figure