Fell jokes

What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?

"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."

I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.

What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"

What fell out of the tree first, the apple or the emo?

The apple, the emo was caught by the rope.

Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.

Papyrus was playing with the human, but then Papyrus fell and he broke the cell bone of the human.

I go to get my mail.

Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"

Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"

Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.

Five little monkeys jumping on a bed.

One fell off and bumped his head. Mamma called Walmart, and Walmart said,

"We will give you a replacement!"

Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?

Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.

My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.

He swears by it, but he’s in denial.

What did the cannibal say when his friend fell on the floor?

"5 second rule!"

Yo mama so fat, she fell off the judgement room and broke the 7 layers of hell.

A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.

"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"

The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."

A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"

An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"

The Scouser says, "Liverpool."

The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"

The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"

What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?

Nothing, they both fell.

When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.

A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?

The feather, because the rope stopped the child.

If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?

The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.

A couple and their friends were riding their tricycle, and one wheel fell off. They discussed what to do, and finally the friend said, "Why don't you just use me?" The boyfriend said, "Why did I not think of using the third wheel?"

Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.

My grandfather died at Auschwitz.

Poor fella fell off the guard tower.