Fatherhood jokes

I dressed up as Darth Vader at an orphanage and said, "I am your father!"

Dad?

Son: Dad, where are you?

Dad: Getting another one.

Son: Getting what?

Dad: Dad.

A lot of things changed when I got my girlfriend pregnant: my name, my address, and my phone number.

Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.

He never sees his kids.

I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.

What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?

Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.

What is a "dad?"

Q: What movie do orphans hate?

A: Fatherhood.

Why do orphans like Darth Vader?

So he can say, "I'm your father!"

What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?

"I am your father!"

My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.

I worry about him sometimes.

They don't call priests "daddy," they call me daddy.

Why does the orphan go to church? He needs someone to call father.

Batman: I’m vengeance.

Dad: Hi Vengeance, I’m dad.

Batman: ...

Dad: Son, it’s been 20 years, please let go.

You will find your dad that left to get the milk before your hairline.

I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.

I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."

Why do orphans like to be gay?

So they can call someone "daddy."

Why did the kid named Jeff become gay? Because he grew up without a father figure. Hahaha, I love dark humor!

What do you call an octopus dad?

An octodad.