Fatherhood jokes
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.
Why do orphans love to go to church? Because they have someone to call father.
A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"
You will find your dad that left to get the milk before your hairline.
What do you call an octopus dad?
An octodad.
Why did the orphan go to church?
Because they need a father.
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.
I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."
A lot of things changed when I got my girlfriend pregnant: my name, my address, and my phone number.
Why did the kid named Jeff become gay? Because he grew up without a father figure. Hahaha, I love dark humor!
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They wanted someone to call "daddy."
What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?
"I am your father."
What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?
Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Why doesn't Santa have kids? Because he only comes once a year.
Why does an orphan like church so much? So he can call someone "father."
Why was Kobe a good father?
He took his daughter with him.
At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"