Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents as an example.
I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!
Me be like: ;-;
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
What do you call an orphan?
Homeless.
Jake: Can I go outside?
Mom: Did you clean your room?
Jake: No.
Mom: Then f*ck no.
Jake: Alright, bet.
(Brother named No)
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.
I farted in my grandma's breathing machine.
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.
Orphan: Hey, where's the milk?
Dad: . . .
Steve Kerr really named his son Nick.
Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.
Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.
What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?
They can't see each other anymore.
Your sister is so short, she needs to roll up her panties.
Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.
