I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.
Bored? Punch an orphan! Who are they gonna tell, their parents?
I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.
Boy: The F in Orfan stands for family Orphan: But there’s no F in orphan Boy:Exactly
The daughter milked her dad. It turns out it wasn't milk...
I cried when my dad cut up onions. Onions was a good dog.
What do you call an orphan family? None existent.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"
Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
What's one thing a homing missile can't kill?
An orphan.
You look too old to be living with your grandma.
What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.
I saw a little kid crying. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. I got fired from the orphanage.
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.
So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
One man's trash is another man's treasure. That sucks when you are adopted.
I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.
Because I hate dealing with parents.
My dad smashed my PS5, so I smashed his wife.
Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! 😂🤣
I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.
When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".
I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!
I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.
(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)
(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)
(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)
