Family jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
What is the difference between a kid's dad and his cancer?
The cancer came back.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because when they drive, they don’t need a license plate, because they don’t have a home.
What can't orphans do?
Be homosexual because they have no home.
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
"Him and his dead family." :(
What do you call a group of brothers who fuck one another?
Super Smash Bros.
If Kenny had a son, we all know he would also be his brother.
1, 2, 3, 4, your sis is such a whore,
5, 6, 7, 8, she has cum on her face.
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa?
Do you love me?
No, Papa.
#### you!
Mom: Remember, you can tell me anything.
Abbie: I had sex with dad.
Mom: Go die in a hole!
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
Lil Johnny came home one day and said, "What do fucking each other mean?"
Then he walked through the living room and his dad was fucking his mom, so oh.
An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."
Why can’t the orphan play baseball?
Because they can’t go home.
Why can’t an orphan make a joke?
Dad jokes.
What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)
I broke my arm yesterday. My bro said it is Arm-ageddon, and I still don’t know why.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"
The teacher asked a young boy in primary school, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
To which the boy replies, "No."
The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet.
At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
"Shut up," she replied.
The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks, "Can you teach me the alphabet?"
But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet.
But his brother is singing, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet.
But his sister is singing, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"
The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet.
The boy replies, "Shut up."
"Alright, I'm sending you to the principal's office right now."
The boy replies, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
In the office, the principal says, "Who do you think you are?"
The boy replies, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The principal now says, "How do you think you'll get away with this?"
The boy then replies, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"