Expressions jokes

Suicide

    • If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.

    If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.

    It isn't any of those if it's suicide.

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    • Rape

    • How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.

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    • Mood

    • I only have 4 moods:

    • fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you

    I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

    • fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything

    and don't forget the inevitable

    • fuck it

    and for those who have just given up

    • fuck

    This is beautiful.

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    • Dad

    • Please read all of it. I know it's long, please read all of it.

    This dad heard his daughter praying. As she was praying, she came to an end: "Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning, the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just coincidence, so he carried on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." After he heard "goodbye grandma," his facial expression changed, and he went straight to bed. The next morning, the grandma died out of nowhere. The dad began to worry and continued on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad got scared, so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there. So that's what he did. When he got home the next day, his wife asked where he had been, and he replied back, "Sorry honey, I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: "Oh, you think you had a bad day? The mailman just died on the front porch this morning!" If you get it, you get it.

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    • Baby

    • How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?

    How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.

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    • Baby

    • How do you put a baby in a blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?

    How do you get the baby out? With a tortilla chip!

    Music

    • I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!

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    • Cardboard box

    • I asked a poor old woman if I could take her home. She smiled and said yes. However, the expression on her face soon changed when I started walking away with her cardboard box.

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    • Love

    • I love you. You too. I love you. You have a good night. Love. Love. I love you. You and your mom, love. Love. You have the best friends. Love. You have fun. Love. Is it good? You you have to walk home from school and walk walk home from school. I have fun at home.

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    • Love

    • "I love you, you too. I-eeeeeee was the night. Time is it when you you get a typical sleep night. Is oooooooo, is it a walk home was the night night and a tree is it?"

    Guy

    • I was 11 or 12 at the time.

    Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...

    If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.

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    • Blender

    • Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender? Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?

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