My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
What the worst thing about committing suicide, You can only do it once
What's the only regret you would have when you eventually kill yourself, It wasn't Sooner
In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually
An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth-pint, etc. The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said: "you mathematicians don't know your limits."
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?
E.T. eventually went home!
what's the difference between Nemo and my dad? Nemo was eventually found.
A guy is due to meet his friends for drink at a bar but arrives late. When he does eventually turn up his friends ask why he is late.
The guy says, "Well, you won't believe what just happened. I was walking my usual route via the rail tracks when suddenly I saw a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks. Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her."
The friends are cheering and one friend asks, "So... did you get any head?"
The guy replies, "No, I couldn't find it."
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker? Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common? They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican
What does fire and people have in common A: they will both eventually die out
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes." Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually."
little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
A hand of Pepsi murdered a coca cola a innocent sprite yelled QUICK! CALL DR PEPPER! Eventually a 7 up called Dr pepper the coca cola was fine
why is it that orphans love Frisbees so much.
Because they return eventually.
i don't really understand 911 jokes but they eventually hit me like a plane
