Why don't orphans watch TV?
Because of "Family Guy."
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *pauses porn* Why?
What is an emo kid's favorite song?
"Chain Hang Low" because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree.
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Michael Jackson.
Shorkey will find you in bed tonight, and he will eat you like my joke or else...
Girls are like roller coasters; the faster you go, the louder they scream.
Hey guys! Ello here with an update!
I know I haven't been doing a lot of jokes lately, so I will make sure to do that, but I have something to say! I am going to Disneyland today!! So here is the plan. Today we are going to leave around 2 and go to Downtown Disney for dinner and check into our hotel and stuff like that. Then we are going to wake up bright and early tomorrow and go to Disneyland and stay 'til midnight, and then on Monday we are going to California Adventure! I am missing school on Monday! I'm so excited! And don't worry, I will make sure to tell you guys all about it when we get back. Love y'all!
Yo mama's so ugly even cartoon cat eyes got little.
Uma Thurman in "Pulp Fiction" was very kind and possibly the sweetest character, unless you count her forehead as of now.
What's The Difference Between A Rubber And Micheal Jackson? Nothing, Kids Tounch Them Both.
Minecraft YouTube, but I can sing Believer!
YouTube, but I'm making a first video in YouTube.
And I record all the Minecraft videos and upload.
Ooohh! To try it and upload. Ooohh!
I've been recorded to streaming, couple more sleeps to do the dreaming.
I finally get to the stronghold, and if you told me, you told me, you told me, you told me.
Place some more ender eyes, and it's time to big surprise.
It's time to kill the ender dragon, go into the...
END!
Take that crystal, take that crystal, Believer, Believer!
Knock him down, knock him down, Believer, Believer!
Axe it's head, axe it's head.
Axe it's head, defeat him.
SUBSCRIBE!!!
Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.
This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉
So, I was at a stand up comedy show in Russia where the comedian was making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good, but I loved the execution.
What film do orphans hate?
"Instant Family."
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?
“A sped runner.”
How do you keep a blind kid entertained? You take him to a stadium crowd then give him a bat and tell him to hit the pinyata.
What did the spectator miss when going to the toilet?
The entire English innings.
Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.
The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!
I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!
