What’s red, nine inches long , and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?
Her abortion
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
Why was the staircase so sad?
Because everyone walks on them.
When I'm sad, I cut myself...A PIECE OF CAKE!
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.
My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.
I'm feeling cannelloni right now.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
Why did the skeleton want a friend?
Because she was feeling bonely.
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"
