Dwarf jokes

Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.

Why can't dwarfs go to space? Because NASA is not sending monkeys into space anymore.

The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.

Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Ki­li, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"

Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.

What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."

You may not like me, but you still look up to me.

Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?

Bro, you can't talk; you look like the dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

I used to look up to my mom, but now that I am 12, I look down on her.

This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."

What's the difference between a dwarf and a Japanese man?

I don't know, you tell me.

Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?

They never look down on anyone.

Kid: Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?

Kid 2: Why?

Kid: 'Cause it's as short as your dick.

My friend: "Hey, I see a dwarf!"

Me: "Where?"

Friend: "In front of me."

Why do dwarfs hate fast food restaurants? Cause most of them have medium and large.

I saw a dwarf and said, "He costs 2 elixir!"

He called the cops.

How is the weather down there?

"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.

Why don't dwarfs have cars?

Because they can't get in the door.

Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!

I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.