Dwarf jokes

Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.

Why does a very tall man allow dwarfs to take turns to suck his balls?

Because he is nuts about them!

"I was walking in the yard yesterday and a bug stepped on me. Why, you ask? Because the bug didn't know I was there."

It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."

What's the sound that dwarfs make when they have sex?

Broken plates.

Why are midgets short?

'Cause they are!

So, I was going out the door and I see my dwarf neighbor at the bus stop. I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with "fu.. off." So, I zip up my backpack and keep going to work.

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Perform fellatio.

Why don't midgets use tampons?

Answer: They are always tripping over the string.

What do you call a dwarf police officer?

A guinea pig.

It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.

Dwarf: pulls down the flap for the mirror.

Also dwarf: can’t see.

What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?

A party popper.

What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged!

If there was a quiz on midgets, here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:

1. When midgets get high on any drug, do they get high or medium?

2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet?

3. Are Midgets related to Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs?

4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?

5. Was this funny?

I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."

Dwarf Shortage.

When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf?

When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice...

I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.