Dwarf jokes
A dwarf walks into a bar.
He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the 馃, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.
If I went out with a dwarf, when I pick them up, I'll say, "Wassup short?"
I got introduced to a dwarf at a nudist colony the other day.
When we shook, the pleasure was all mine.
I don't always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Because it looks like a g-nome.
Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.
Why does a very tall man allow dwarfs to take turns to suck his balls?
Because he is nuts about them!
"I was walking in the yard yesterday and a bug stepped on me. Why, you ask? Because the bug didn't know I was there."
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
What's the sound that dwarfs make when they have sex?
Broken plates.
Why are midgets short?
'Cause they are!
So, I was going out the door and I see my dwarf neighbor at the bus stop. I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with "fu.. off." So, I zip up my backpack and keep going to work.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Perform fellatio.
Why don't midgets use tampons?
Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.
It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.
Dwarf: pulls down the flap for the mirror.
Also dwarf: can鈥檛 see.
What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?
A party popper.
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged!