Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
Why can't dwarfs be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
I hate writing dwarf jokes, but I normally keep them short.
What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?
A wee hard man.
What do you call a dwarf in a drawer?
Gay.
Midget
I tried to write the shortest joke ever, so I wrote a two-word joke, which was "Dwarf Shortage." It's just so I could pack more jokes into the show.
I'M SHORTTT!
I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"
When dwarfs get high, do they just get medium?
What do you call a dwarf with autism Matthew Michal?
Why do dwarfs work at Tesco?
Because every little helps!
A dwarf walks into a bar.
He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the 🥃, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.
If I went out with a dwarf, when I pick them up, I'll say, "Wassup short?"
I got introduced to a dwarf at a nudist colony the other day.
When we shook, the pleasure was all mine.
I don't always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Because it looks like a g-nome.
Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.
Why does a very tall man allow dwarfs to take turns to suck his balls?
Because he is nuts about them!
"I was walking in the yard yesterday and a bug stepped on me. Why, you ask? Because the bug didn't know I was there."
