Drug Addiction jokes

What do you call a religious drug addict?

A crystal methodist.

What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?

I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!

Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?

They'll say "yea."

I'm gonna make a documentary about meth-addicted prostitutes.

I think I'll call it "Whores on Ice."

If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?

"Rehab's for quitters, and I don't give up."

I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions, decisions...

One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.

I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but thankfully, I turned myself around.