Drug Addiction jokes

What do you call a religious drug addict?

A crystal methodist.

What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?

I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!

I'm gonna make a documentary about meth-addicted prostitutes.

I think I'll call it "Whores on Ice."

Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?

They'll say "yea."

If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?

"Rehab's for quitters, and I don't give up."

I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions, decisions...

One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.

I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but thankfully, I turned myself around.