I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking. But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.
What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr colin, who loves making a din, he thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, that's not what everyone shows, about his life he ploughs and ploughs, about his dog bella and his relation-ship woes... mr colin, we do not care, when you speak, our minds are not there, your life you have unnecessarily shared, when we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr colin, rumbling about his exceptions, just when someone puts something in the bin, or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, but Mr Colin, drinking too much gin, will flail all his annoying attention on him, he'll push his limits, right to the rim... And just how i love flan~ Oh he's finally gone~
@DreamBlue
i had to stop drinking because i got tired of waking up in my car driving 90
a man comes to a bar and has a drink then his bully came to him and Stoll his drink then the bully asked "what wrong" the man said that "I trying to kill myself I try getting hit by a Tran but the train went on the different track then I try to jump of a brig but I fell on a bot full of pillows then I try to Posen myself " then the bully say "then what " then man replied you just dunked it "then the man left.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words: What the fuck is in this drink
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
Ddi you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana? It had nine shots and seven chasers!
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgent coming in tomorrow im super excited to work with him the next day we had to do our first ever open hart surgery so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient so we finished the surgery and went out side for a smoke and we were talking I said why did you keep the patients blood on your glove? He replied we in my free time I test it for anything diseases HIV the next day I got invited to his house and we had some drinks I said this is amazing red tea what is in it just the 2000 people you have cut opened .
Se this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I be the first person to say drinks are on me
Man: *steals drink Boy: bro😭😭 Man:why are u crying over a drink? Boy:that had dugs Man:....
Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer My life is like... the shoe rack-
A Roman the to bar and he,d up two fingers and said can I have five drinks 🍷 pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
