Do jokes
What do you call a fish with no parents?
An orfin.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
Do you think Mars prefers Sour Orbiters sweet?
Orbiter: "Or bitter?"
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
Do you love water?
Then you love 75% of me!
Memes
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?
DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 Detour.
What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?
They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"
What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A pork chop.
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
How do you know someone is fucking dumb?
They put jokes that have been used several times already.
What do you call a hill with cows on it?
A Moo-ntain.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poker Face.
What do you call a PEIS?