Do jokes
What do you call a midget that waves at you?
A microwave.
What do royals and hot dogs have in common?
They're usually in bread.
What do crows get after they buy a phone?
A cawing card.
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
Q. Why do Skeletons work hard?
A. 'Cause they want the BONEus.
Memes
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.
How do chemists laugh?
HeHe.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why do elves go to school?
To learn the elf-abet.
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
Do you know that “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” usually mean the same thing?
Except at a funeral.
Why do emos suck at playing tic-tac-toe on their wrists?
Because when they win, they lose.
What did Ahsan do?
Meow meow.
Why do orphans have only 363 days in their calendar year?
Because they don't have father's and mother's days.
How do you make the grass cut itself?
Make it depressed.
How do you stop a baby from crying?
You drown it.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket!
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.