Do jokes
What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.
A man was walking with a young boy in the woods.
The boy looks at the man and says, "Mister, it's too dark and I'm getting scared."
The man replies with, "How do you think I feel? I have to come back alone!"
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man?
Bisexual.
Memes
How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.
What do cows listen to on headphones?
moo-sic.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both shove their meat between 10-year-old buns.
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
What do you call a Mexican that smokes weed? A baked bean.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
🤔 ❓ How do lesbians 😳 practice safe 🙏 sex they put condoms on dildos and then they put dildos inside of their 👄 👄 👄 mouths and then they perform fellatio on them
What do you get when you cross a German and a Mexican? A “BeanerSchnitzel”!
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can watch the expression on their face.