Deez Nuts

Deez Nuts Jokes

Me: Can I borrow your CD?

Friend: What CD?

Me: See deez nuts in your mouth.

"Hey, what's the Russian president's name?" "Putin?" "Yeah, Putin deez nuts in yo mouth!"

Have you seen the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?

Sea if these nuts fit on yo mouth.

Me: U know the show called Imagine Dragons?

Friends: No, what is it?

Me: Imagine dragon this nuts across yo mouth.

What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He's a d!ck.

I bought a guh on the weekend.

(what's a guh?)

GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! 🥜 🔩 🌰

Me: Hey, I have candy.

Kid: Right next to me, can I have some?

Me: Some of deez nuts.

This man came up to me and asked if I could sell my house to him, and I said sure. Then five days later, he said that the loan should come in the mailbox. Then I checked the mailbox, and the only thing I saw was nothing, so I told the guy, "DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"