Dead jokes
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
Dogs say woof.
Cows say moo.
Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?
They can’t say no.
Who is not hungry in Africa?
A dead person.
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
Do you know when an African doesn't feel hungry?
When he is dead.
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"
"Yeah, over my dead body!"
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
What do you do when your cat's dead?
Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.
What is the difference between onions and my dead grandma?
I cried when I cut up the onions.
What’s the worst part about a dead prostitute?
You end up doing all the work.
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.