Dead babies jokes

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(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes.)

What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.

Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't own a Ferrari.

What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?

I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.

What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?

The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.

Arby's fast food and abortion clinic: Your dead babies are our taters and gravy.

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    • What's worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?

    - One dead baby in five garbage cans.

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    • How do you get 100 dead babies into a tub? Put them in the blender.

    How do you get them out of the tub? Give mexicans tortilla chips and tell them theres salsa in the tub.

    Q: What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?

    A: A Lamborghini isn't a very fun hobby.

    How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.

    What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?

    I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.

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