Q: How do you make a fire?
A: Oil and dead babies.
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was strapped to the chicken.
What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?
I don’t put fruit in a blender.
What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?
1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
102, if you have some alive ones.
My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.
What is scarier than a pile of dead babies?
The bottom one ate its way out!
Ugh, don't you just hate it when you're having sex and your parents walk in the room and say, "No more dead babies for your mister, we are running low!"
Did you know hospitals have an entire wing for free dead babies? It’s called the abortion center.
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.
I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...
What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?
A dead baby can't feed a family.
What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?
If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.
What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? One alive at the bottom.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well, there are 69 in my basement, and it's still dark.
Q. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Gotta be more than 9 'cause my basement is still dark.
